Bonds that Last

 

It was the other day when I was listening to some traditional music, Mugithi to be specific. I realized that in the 1980’s, marriage was a prestigious affair especially if the wedding was in the city of Nairobi. These bonds lasted as compared to the marriages we have in our modern times where apparently, everyone is demanding of their marital rights and conditions for the working of the union. Apparently, during the 1980’s, Christianity was at its peak and no one wanted to fornicate and commit a sin lest they missed a chance to go to heaven or even miss important lessons marriage taught couples. I would say, were it not for diseases, marriage is a remedy to a longer life.

            Today, those in marriage are looked down upon by those that opt the come we stay option. I remember reading this in a social studies class in primary school and would have never thought society would embrace this kind of stature and ditch the benefits of church weddings. These come we stay bonds are most common with the elite and scholarly in society. In previous times, they were common in degenerates in society: Men and women who spent their time in drinking alcohol and smoking tobacco. Recent studies have revealed the surging cases of depression and suicide amongst the people preferring come we stay unions. For instance, one would be stable career wise, have a stable job, a car, a house, and even property. Nonetheless, they would fail to make a bond with the right person and end up being frustrated in life in general. In Kenya, we have one gospel artist who failed to capture their moment with their right partner, nowadays; he is seen carrying posters by the roadside in an attempt to find a partner they could marry without forgetting the fact he is a rich celebrity. It is a sad affair.

            Looking on to the generation of our grandparents, they valued the church and all that it brought to the table. Mind you, this is the generation that knew what it meant to be African, cheap, poor, illiterate, and dirty. They found solace in churches where they secured an education and improved their lives. In addition, they found marriage partners who suited their needs in accordance to their ages. I would say my very own grandfather was a wise man in his younger days as he found a life partner in a church pastor, who played a key role in his political career. Bonds that lasted, today, she is late, and my grandfather is clinging on to the life memories their bond created.

            As earlier mentioned, a good life partner is as good as a good investment at the bank. The insecurities would go down the drain, as would depression and suicidal thoughts. The healthy children would add zest to the union and this would be a perfect example of the modern family setup, one that represented the 21^st Century, a notion that would be different from early generations that feared to fornicate and preferred the longest route to a satisfactory life. With the presence of the internet and Google, current generations will find it harder to create meaningful bonds, as they would follow an already laid out form and relationship structures, as opposed to a natural order. With such, our sisters blend into a strong concoction, too bitter for our men folk to swallow, a concoction that degrades values and erodes natural bonds that would have existed between a man and a woman, bonds that lasted since time immemorial.